:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
