My entire life is one complicated drinking game
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
