Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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