Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize