I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
