I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
