He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
