I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We are all done wearing pants today
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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