He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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