Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
