the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
