youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
