I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
