If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize