idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize