why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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