All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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