Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I pour the whiskey from now on
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
