just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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