So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
