..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
