is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
