Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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