i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
