just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
