Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
