I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
