How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
