And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
