i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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