he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We left the knife in your bed.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
