I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize