Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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