Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize