So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you win again, gameday.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
