Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
