He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
