??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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