you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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