I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
