she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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