I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
