Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
