He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
