It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
