Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
As shirtless as possible
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
