I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
