we have pet lesbian snakes
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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