Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
