A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
