I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
