if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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