so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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