When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
