If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
