i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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