I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Panties = found
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
