Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
