Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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