oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
