i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
