You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
