your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
