He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
