I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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